"Insane"
I was born with a dick in my brain, yeah fucked in the head
My stepfather said that I sucked in the bed 'Til one night he snuck in and said
We're going out back, I want my dick sucked in the she'd Can't we just play with Teddy Ruxbin instead?
After I ---- you in the butt, get some head Bust a nut, get some rest
The next day my mother said "I don't know what the ----'s up with this kid!
The bastard won't even eat nothing he's fed He just hung himself in the bedroom he's dead"
"Debbie don't let that fucker get you upset
Go in there, stick a fuckin' cigarette to his neck I bet you he's fakin' it,
I bet you I bet he probably just want's to see how upset you would get I'll go handle this of course, unless you object"
"Ahh go ---- his brains out, if any's left in his head"
[Chorus]
If you could count the skeletons in my closet Under my bed and up under my faucet
Then you would know I've completely lost it Is he nuts? NO! He's insane!
"Did you get him?" Naaw, fucker tried to bite my face off I just got fuckin' chased off with a chainsaw
Then he took the chainsaw, bit the fuckin' blades off
Ate the blades, stuck a baseball in a slingshot
Then he aimed at his own face, let the thing pop
Took his eye out, picked it up and played ping pong
Then he played ping pong with his own ding dong
That motherfucker's got nuts like King Kong Then he set the lawn mower out on the dang lawn
And he laid all up underneath it with the thing on
Then he took his pants, he took every fuckin' thing off
Everything, except his tank top and his training bra
Ain't he raw? Yeah mainiac, that's Shady dog
Man that motherfucker's gangsta, ain't he dog
Shady dog, what be going through that fuckin' brain of yours
Say no more, what the ---- you waitin' for, sing along
[Chorus]
If you could count the skeletons in my closet Under my bed and up under my faucet
Then you would know I've completely lost it Is he nuts? NO! He's insane!
Don't you know what felch means? (yeah), well then tell me Would you rather get felched or do the felching
---- him in the ass, suck the cum out while you're belching
Burp, belch, then go back for a second helping Can you dig what I'm sayin' man, can you smell me?
I want you to feel me like my step father felt me
---- a little puppy, kick the puppy while he's yelping "Shady what the ---- you saying?"
I don't know help me! What the ----'s happening, I think I'm fucking melting
"Marshall I just love you boy, I care about your well being" No Dad, I said no,
I don't need no help peeing I'm a big boy, I can do it by myself see
I only get naked when the baby sitter tells me She showed me a movie like "Nightmare on Elm Street"
But it was X, and they called it "Pubic Hair on Chelsea"
"Well this is called ass rape, and we're shooting the jail scene"
[Chorus]
If you could count the skeletons in my closet Under my bed and up under my faucet
Then you would know I've completely lost it Is he nuts? NO! He's insane
.................................................. ...........................
"Bagpipes From Baghdad"
Oh! It's music to my ears, Oh man! How can I describe, the way I feel?
Fuckin great man! Okay, let me see How could I begin...
Locked in Mariah's wine cellar all I had for lunch, Was red wine, more red wine, and captain crunch,
Red wine for breakfast and for brunch, And to soak it up and in between snack, crackers to munch,
Mariah, what's ever happened to us, why did we have to break up, All I asked for was a glass of punch,
You see, I never really ask for much,
I can't imagine what's going through your mind after such,
A nasty breakup with that Laftin Hunkler, Weisman Gale, Nick Cannon better back the ---- up,
I'm not playin, I want her back you punk, This is Hello Kitty bedspread satin funk,
Mixed with egyptian, with a little rappin pump, Zappin Eric Clapton, (Shaft?), Frank Zappa crunk,
And yeah baby, I want another crack at ya,
You can beat me with any spatula thatcha want, I mean I really want you bad you cunt,
Nick you had your fun, I've come to kick you in your sack of junk,
Man I could use a fresh batch of blood, So prepare your vernacular for dracula acupunc-ture
[Chorus]
Bagpipes from Baghdad When will it ever cease, for Pete's sake he's crazy, to say the least
Bagpipes from Baghdad What's going through my mind half the time, when I rhyme, while blowing on my
Bagpipes from Baghdad Sombody turn the vacancy sign on, 'cause I'm gone, blowing on my
Bagpipes from Baghdad I run the streets and act like a madman, holding a glad-,
You can be a permanent fixture, In my lyrical mixture, I'm the miracle whit trixter,
My sig-nature sound, when the tube of lipstick's around, I'm bound to put on in an instant, wow
Man what an ensemble, what an assortment of pharma-
Ceuticals, it's beautiful, pill dust in my palm, my Cuticles get residue just from touching the bottle,
Never knew I could remind me so much of my mama,
I'll cut you like Dahmer, pull a butcher knife on ya,
The size of a sword boy, I'm like a fucken Red Sonia,
Get it stuck in your cornea, Nice knowin ya Norman,
You're so fuckin' annoyin, Drop the shovel boy, you don't know what the ---- ya doin',
I ain't playin' no fuckin' more, Nick Cannon you prick, I wish you luck with the fuckin whore,
Every minute there's a sucker born, Snuck up on Malachai and made the motherfucker suck on a shuck of corn,
Shuck of, shuck of corn, shuck of corn,
Hit Jason in the face with a hockey puck and told him it's fucken on,
What the ---- are you doin',
You're runnin' over the snow blower, With the lawnmower, blow on your Bagpipes from Baghdad
[Chorus]
Bagpipes from Baghdad When will it ever cease, for Pete's sake he's crazy, to say the least
Bagpipes from Baghdad What's going through my mind half the time, when I rhyme, while blowing on my
Bagpipes from Baghdad Sombody turn the vacancy sign on, 'cause I'm gone, blowing on my
Bagpipes from Baghdad I run the streets and act like a madman, holding a glad-,
In the bed with two braindead lesbian vegetables, I bet you they become heterosexual,
Nothing will stop me from molesting you, Tittyfucking you til your breastnipple
Flesh, tickles my testicles, Is what they said to the two conjoined twins,
How's it going girlfriends, you need a boyfriend, You need some ointment, just make an appointment, Who's gonna see the doctor first, we'll do a coin flip I just got my one year sobriety coin chip, When the bad get going, how bad does the going get
Baby you shouldn't have any trouble rubbing groins wit Each other, especially when you're joined at the hip, I'm going to get the needle, new thread from the sewing kit,
An attempt to seperate em and stitch em back at the loin shit, Lured the little boy with the chocolate chips ahoy chip Cookie, lookie even took me a polaroid, bitch
[Chorus]
Bagpipes from Baghdad When will it ever cease, for Pete's sake he's crazy, to say the least
Bagpipes from Baghdad What's going through my mind half the time, when I rhyme, while blowing on my
Bagpipes from Baghdad Sombody turn the vacancy sign on, 'cause I'm gone, blowing on my
Bagpipes from Baghdad I run the streets and act like a madman, holding a glad-,
[Vocoder] Hum-de-lay-le-lah-aaahhhhhhh [X4]