it is not you who should feel shame, it is we, we who tolerate ignorance n practice prejudice, we who have taught you to fear. We must lift our shroud of silence, making it safe for you to reach out for compassion, it is our task to seek safety for our children. not in quiet denial, but in an effective action, some day our children will be grown, my son Max now four will take the measure of his mother. My son Zakri now 2 will sort through his memories. I may not be here to hear their judgments, but I know already what I hope they are. I want my children to know that their mother was not the victim, she was a messenger, I do not want them to think as I once did, that courage is the absence of fear, I want them to know that courage is the strength to act wisely when most we are afraid