Writing & Editing & Tips

[sepid12ir]

Another nice writing.. Well done, buddy

Just a couple of suggestions:

I think you should use "have" instead of "has", since you're describing "hand-made products" which is plural.

And I think it would be better to write "replaced with". Here's a example Cambridge Online Dictionary has expressed:

I'm in doubt about the underlined parts. I'm not sure about what I think. Let me wait for other friends' comments

Looking forward to your comments, pals.. Please let me know if I've made any mistakes

well, about replace, both of them are right; with or by, both are correct, according to Oxfordl

[sepid12ir]

Sarah, a 19 year old lady, who was studying Physics, decided to drop out her studying n follow what her heart wanted. She had a great talent in art n some of her paintings had been sold too expensive in one of the most famous annual exhibition. By the time she dropped out studying, she persuaded her parents to let her travel to other countries so that she could find better n more beautiful subjects to paint since all her paintings had become typical recently n none of her paintings could draw others' attention as before. Money was essential if she wanted to travel to other countries but her parents could not afford such money n Sarah decided to sell all her paintings wholesale

[SCYTHE]

Sarah, a 19 year old lady, who was studying Physics, decided to drop out her studying n follow what her heart wanted. She had a great talent in art n some of her paintings had been sold too expensive in one of the most famous annual exhibition. By the time she dropped out studying, she persuaded her parents to let her travel to other countries so that she could find better n more beautiful subjects to paint since all her paintings had become typical recently n none of her paintings could draw others' attention as before. Money was essential if she wanted to travel to other countries but her parents could not afford such money n Sarah decided to sell all her paintings wholesale

Well done, very nice, thanks too much for pursuing the topicl
I don't think typical has a disapproving meaning, what about this one:l
since all her paintings had become typical monotone recently

برای مشاهده محتوا ، لطفا وارد شوید یا ثبت نام کنید

[sepid12ir]

Well done, very nice, thanks too much for pursuing the topicl

I don't think typical has a disapproving meaning, what about this one:l
since all her paintings had become typical monotone recently

برای مشاهده محتوا ، لطفا وارد شوید یا ثبت نام کنید

yeah, totally agree, actually I was looking for such a word n now u gave it. thaaaaaaaaaaaanx a lotl

[SCYTHE]

I evaded the lesson 4 because assembling majority of those words was a burden to me. I think sometimes we should reform the rules and break with tradition.l

Choose one resource that is disappearing and explain why it needs to be saved

It’s a very debatable topic and I think it’s better before making any decision I probe the variety of options. Anyway, my choice for now is trees and I’m really concerned about the future of the Earth if the process of destroying the jungles continues in this way. In the following I would explore some important reasons for my choice.

First, trees by doing the procedure of photosynthesis in which they turn carbon dioxide into oxygen play a significant role in maintaining a good condition for the ecosystem which is in danger of annihilation because of human’s destroyer activities.
Trees by reducing carbon gases amounts prevent the phenomenon of the greenhouse effect that result in increasing the mean temperature of the Earth and changing the environment. Besides that, jungles are home of many different species of animals like birds and mammals and insects, etc. Lives of these creatures are strongly reliant on these kinds of ecosystems, and if one day these jungles vanish, without doubt we will lose these creatures as well, and this will be a big blow that we destroy the life on this planet in order to reaching some temporary and unnecessary goals.

Second, I think we do need jungles to bring happiness to us, you will not understand what I’m saying unless you spend a night in jungle or at rural treed areas. If you try it you will never allow the thought of destroying these precious god-given gifts comes to your mind. Furthermore, the issue of destroying jungles gets more bothersome when we see that all of the products made by wood can be produced by other materials, for example, we can use other materials for making pencil or door or table and so on. The other drawback of destroying jungles is that this process is irreversible and it means that we practically will disappoint the next generations from enjoying the green nature.

In a word, for practical and emotional reasons we need to preserve our plant’s trees

[snowy_winter]

Sarah, a 19 year old lady, who was studying Physics, decided to drop out her studying n follow what her heart wanted. She had a great talent in art n some of her paintings had been sold too expensive in one of the most famous annual exhibition. By the time she dropped out studying, she persuaded her parents to let her travel to other countries so that she could find better n more beautiful subjects to paint since all her paintings had become typical recently n none of her paintings could draw others' attention as before. Money was essential if she wanted to travel to other countries but her parents could not afford such money n Sarah decided to sell all her paintings wholesale

Great story dear sepid

Just a couple of suggestions:

Shouldn't we write "exhibitions"?

I feel strange about using "too" in this sentence. Doesn't it give negative meaning to the sentence? And here, doesn't it mean that the painting wasn't worth the price that had been paid for it? l

[sepid12ir]

Despite all hardships n tails, Sarah could afford to travel to Europe. First she went to France, there she stayed with one of her old friends, Maggy, who was living on her own in an enormous house. the very first days of her trips she had great time n she could go to different beautiful places n catch some fabulous subjects for her paintings but these happy days did not last for a long time, one humid night, while Sarah was descending the stairs in her way to home she bumped into a dense, lunatic villain, she was totally scared n tried to flee but she could do nothing;
It was about 2 a.m n Sarah had been vanished n Maggy was too worried. Maggy phoned all the places where Sarah could be, but she couldn't find her n eventually she phoned the police; The day after Sarah's photo was circulated on all the morning newspapers. The police could not find Sarah after 48 hours following up, For Maggy this event was unpredictable n she was in dilemma whether to inform Sarah's parents. By the time Sarah made up her mind to put Sarah's parents wise, she received a phone call from the police station. the police had found Sarah passed out in an old vacant building

[sepid12ir]

I evaded the lesson 4 because assembling majority of those words was a burden to me. I think sometimes we should reform the rules and break with tradition.l

Choose one resource that is disappearing and explain why it needs to be saved

It’s a very debatable topic and I think it’s better before making any decision I probe the variety of options. Anyway, my choice for now is trees and I’m really concerned about the future of the Earth if the process of destroying the jungles continues in this way. In the following I would explore some important reasons for my choice.

First, trees by doing the procedure of photosynthesis in which they turn carbon dioxide into oxygen play a significant role in maintaining a good condition for the ecosystem which is in danger of annihilation because of human’s destroyer activities.
Trees by reducing carbon gases amounts prevent the phenomenon of the greenhouse effect that result in increasing the mean temperature of the Earth and changing the environment. Besides that, jungles are home of many different species of animals like birds and mammals and insects, etc. Lives of these creatures are strongly reliant on these kinds of ecosystems, and if one day these jungles vanish, without doubt we will lose these creatures as well, and this will be a big blow that we destroy the life on this planet in order to reaching some temporary and unnecessary goals.

Second, I think we do need jungles to bring happiness to us, you will not understand what I’m saying unless you spend a night in jungle or at rural treed areas. If you try it you will never allow the thought of destroying these precious god-given gifts comes to your mind. Furthermore, the issue of destroying jungles gets more bothersome when we see that all of the products made by wood can be produced by other materials, for example, we can use other materials for making pencil or door or table and so on. The other drawback of destroying jungles is that this process is irreversible and it means that we practically will disappoint the next generations from enjoying the green nature.

In a word, for practical and emotional reasons we need to preserve our plant’s trees

yeah, lesson 4 was really hard, I worked on it for about an hour while I usually write in just 15 mins; anyway, it's a good idea, we can use different words from different units
I still have not read yr essay, I read n I tell my ideal

Great story dear sepid

Just a couple of suggestions:

Shouldn't we write "exhibitions"?

I feel strange about using "too" in this sentence. Doesn't it give negative meaning to the sentence? And here, doesn't it mean that the painting wasn't worth the price that had been paid for it? l

yeah are right, it should be exhibitions, about the second one, actually I meant that it could even be sold cheaper; my stories are meaninglessl
but u r totally right, 'too' is used for negetive fromsl

[sepid12ir]

I evaded the lesson 4 because assembling majority of those words was a burden to me. I think sometimes we should reform the rules and break with tradition.l

Choose one resource that is disappearing and explain why it needs to be saved

It’s a very debatable topic and I think it’s better before making any decision I probe the variety of options. Anyway, my choice for now is trees and I’m really concerned about the future of the Earth if the process of destroying the jungles continues in this way. In the following I would explore some important reasons for my choice.

First, trees by doing the procedure of photosynthesis in which they turn carbon dioxide into oxygen play a significant role in maintaining a good condition for the ecosystem which is in danger of annihilation because of human’s destroyer activities.
Trees by reducing carbon gases amounts prevent the phenomenon of the greenhouse effect that result in increasing the mean temperature of the Earth and changing the environment. Besides that, jungles are home of many different species of animals like birds and mammals and insects, etc. Lives of these creatures are strongly reliant on these kinds of ecosystems, and if one day these jungles vanish, without doubt we will lose these creatures as well, and this will be a big blow that we destroy the life on this planet in order to reaching some temporary and unnecessary goals.

Second, I think we do need jungles to bring happiness to us, you will not understand what I’m saying unless you spend a night in jungle or at rural treed areas. If you try it you will never allow the thought of destroying these precious god-given gifts comes to your mind. Furthermore, the issue of destroying jungles gets more bothersome when we see that all of the products made by wood can be produced by other materials, for example, we can use other materials for making pencil or door or table and so on. The other drawback of destroying jungles is that this process is irreversible and it means that we practically will disappoint the next generations from enjoying the green nature.

In a word, for practical and emotional reasons we need to preserve our plant’s trees

Wow, Barham, I used my dic for more than 10 times while reading yr essay, how can u memorise all these hard n forgettable wordsl
I think 'and' should be omitted n ',' should be used isntead, hmm?!l
After 'in order' we dun use 'ing', we have infinitive
I explained about the usage of 'to' n 'for' a few days ago, here 'to' should be used instea of 'for'l

[SCYTHE]

Despite all hardships n tails, Sarah could afford to travel to Europe. First, she went to France, there she stayed with one of her old friends, Maggy, who was living on her own in an enormous house. At the very first days of her trips she had a great time n she could go to different beautiful places n catch some fabulous subjects for her paintings, but these happy days did not last for a long time. At one humid night, while Sarah was descending the stairs in her way to home she bumped into a dense, lunatic villain, she was totally scared n tried to flee but she could do nothing.
It was about 2 a.m. n Sarah had been vanished n Maggy was too worried. Maggy phoned all the places where Sarah could be, but she couldn't find her n eventually she phoned the police. The day after, Sarah's photo was circulated on all the morning newspapers. The police could not find Sarah after 48 hours following up, For Maggy this event was unpredictable n she was in dilemma whether to inform Sarah's parents. By the time Sarah made up her mind to put Sarah's parents wise, she received a phone call from the police station. the police had found Sarah passed out in an old vacant building

Very well, excellent. I just couldn't put these words together but you couldl

What a tragic story!l