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نام تاپيک: Writing & Editing & Tips

  1. #51
    پروفشنال snowy_winter's Avatar
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    Jun 2006
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    wow. how nice u continued Micheal's life...thaanx dear
    I see no problem n I think 'once he's married', is much better
    'and turn it into a dormitory as well as building ' it seems to be correct
    and you are right, 'yet' should be used with perfect tenses
    Thanks a lot my dear friend
    Could you please give me your suggestions on what I've written about dear SCYTHE's writing? I really hope I haven't made mistakes, but it's impossible! Would you please do me a favor and correct my possible mistakes? I'll be looking forward to reading your opinions.. And also dear SCYTHE's
    Thanks to both of you


  2. #52
    آخر فروم باز SCYTHE's Avatar
    تاريخ عضويت
    May 2008
    محل سكونت
    formidable paths
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    1,744

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    Do you prefer to live in a location that has a warm climate all year or where the seasons change?l

    I think I’d like to live in a place where the climate changes rather than a place that is always warm. First of all, I’m the type of the person who enjoys experiencing different things and for me having repetitive days is tiresome, I enjoy the snowy weather of winter and hot weather of summer along side with each other, not separately; and also I’d like to wear different kinds of clothing and see changes in nature that are due to changing in climate, and I can find none of them in monotone surrounding conditions. Furthermore, so many people that live in place that climate is steady, suffer sort of depression that is due to the lack of variation (variations?) of climate, and they usually have to take trips to other parts of the world to avoid this disorder. Therefore, maybe I’m just used to diverse climate, but for now that’s my choice

    Which city would you like to visit?l

    If I could visit any city in the world on my desire, I’d choose Bergen, a port city in southwestern Norway, since this city has everything that I’m longing for, beach, forest, and historical monuments. As you know Norway despite having very cold winters, is the second tourist destination during the summer, thanks to the fair and blessed atmosphere during this period of year that can rarely be found anywhere else. Moreover, experience (?) of fishing and skiing in this beautiful piece of world makes me more certain of this decision and also having some exciting adventures in grim jungles and mountains with wild animals is another thing that I reckon I’d get it if I had a chance to travel to that land. Best of all, I’ve hear a lot that Norwegians are very easygoing and gracious, and what’s more, they’re extremely attractive and good-looking. So, those were the reasons that I hold for my decision
    Last edited by SCYTHE; 01-09-2008 at 00:14.

  3. این کاربر از SCYTHE بخاطر این مطلب مفید تشکر کرده است


  4. #53
    آخر فروم باز SCYTHE's Avatar
    تاريخ عضويت
    May 2008
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    formidable paths
    پست ها
    1,744

    1

    I couldn’t write an essay with the words of the second lesson, so I continue the story

    Now Tom has changed to a qualified doctor, everyone respects him because of his personality and his high rank in the society. But, there is a sickness in his heart that brings him on his knees, and that’s the absence of real parents in his life.

    Till now everything in his life was so simple, but everything changed during the first dismal dispiriting day of November when he was driving in a road through a grim forest. He could barely keep his eyes open while he was moving and that caused him to pay a high price for that, since all of a sudden his car was swerved from the road and hit a tree alongside the road. Thus, he had to stay all the night in this frigid and dismal jungle. Meanwhile, he was tempted to wander into the jungle for finding a place to spend the night, but a load shriek which sounded to be caused by a sinister creature numbed him awhile. Soon after getting aware of peril that laid ahead of him, he concealed himself by reclining beneath a bush around

    To be continued … [preferably, by someone else]l


  5. این کاربر از SCYTHE بخاطر این مطلب مفید تشکر کرده است


  6. #54
    حـــــرفـه ای sepid12ir's Avatar
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    Sep 2007
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    Thanks a lot my dear friend

    Could you please give me your suggestions on what I've written about dear SCYTHE's writing? I really hope I haven't made mistakes, but it's impossible! Would you please do me a favor and correct my possible mistakes? I'll be looking forward to reading your opinions.. And also dear SCYTHE's
    Thanks to both of you
    hey, thaaanx for yr nice consideration, that is our aim here, I mean correcting our mistakes by everyone's help, so if I see any problem in yr I will put u wise. I hope we all do thatl
    ---
    Bahram, thaaaaaaaanx alot, I try to have my writing toml

  7. این کاربر از sepid12ir بخاطر این مطلب مفید تشکر کرده است


  8. #55
    حـــــرفـه ای sepid12ir's Avatar
    تاريخ عضويت
    Sep 2007
    محل سكونت
    تورنتــو
    پست ها
    3,590

    پيش فرض

    Do you prefer to live in a location that has a warm climate all year or where the seasons change?l


    I think I’d like to live in a place where the climate changes rather than a place that is always warm. First of all, I’m the type of the person who enjoys experiencing different things and for me having repetitive days is tiresome, I enjoy the snowy weather of winter and hot weather of summer along side with each other, not separately; and also I’d like to wear different kinds of clothing and see changes in nature that are due to changing in climate, and I can find none of them in monotone surrounding conditions. Furthermore, so many people that live in place that climate is steady, suffer sort of depression that is due to the lack of variation (variations?) of climate, and they usually have to take trips to other parts of the world to avoid this disorder. Therefore, maybe I’m just used to diverse climate, but for now that’s my choice

    Which city would you like to visit?l


    If I could visit any city in the world on my desire, I’d choose Bergen, a port city in southwestern Norway, since this city has everything that I’m longing for, beach, forest, and historical monuments. As you know Norway despite having very cold winters, is the second tourist destination during the summer, thanks to the fair and blessed atmosphere during this period of year that can rarely be found anywhere else. Moreover, experience (?) of fishing and skiing in this beautiful piece of world makes me more certain of this decision and also having some exciting adventures in grim jungles and mountains with wild animals is another thing that I reckon I’d get it if I had a chance to travel to that land. Best of all, I’ve hear a lot that Norwegians are very easygoing and gracious, and what’s more, they’re extremely attractive and good-looking. So, those were the reasons that I hold for my decision
    well, that was really nice, thaanx again
    here, I couldn't find any problem, about variation, I think it should be used singular(not sure)l
    just 'the', here, I think it should be omitted. I'm not sure, I think it should be: 'I'm a type of person who....'l

    I couldn’t write an essay with the words of the second lesson, so I continue the story


    Now Tom has changed to a qualified doctor, everyone respects him because of his personality and his high rank in the society. But, there is a sickness in his heart that brings him on his knees, and that’s the absence of real parents in his life.

    Till now everything in his life was so simple, but everything changed during the first dismal dispiriting day of November when he was driving in a road through a grim forest. He could barely keep his eyes open while he was moving and that caused him to pay a high price for that, since all of a sudden his car was swerved from the road and hit a tree alongside the road. Thus, he had to stay all the night in this frigid and dismal jungle. Meanwhile, he was tempted to wander into the jungle for finding a place to spend the night, but a load shriek which sounded to be caused by a sinister creature numbed him awhile. Soon after getting aware of peril that laid ahead of him, he concealed himself by reclining beneath a bush around

    To be continued … [preferably, by someone else]l
    l'his car was swerved '...I think there is no need to use the passive form. hmm?!l
    instead of 'for' here u should use 'to'...I'm sure about it. bcuz I had it in grammar two, last semester. u can never use 'for' when u are talking about purposes but the times u are describing a thing. e.g: a spoon is for eating
    :Some other examples
    Correct: I went to market for some milk
    Correct: I went to market to buy some milk
    Incorrect: I went to market for buying some milk
    goooood luck

  9. این کاربر از sepid12ir بخاطر این مطلب مفید تشکر کرده است


  10. #56
    آخر فروم باز SCYTHE's Avatar
    تاريخ عضويت
    May 2008
    محل سكونت
    formidable paths
    پست ها
    1,744

    1

    well, that was really nice, thaanx again
    here, I couldn't find any problem, about variation, I think it should be used singular(not sure)l
    just 'the', here, I think it should be omitted. I'm not sure, I think it should be: 'I'm a type of person who....'l


    l'his car was swerved '...I think there is no need to use the passive form. hmm?!l
    instead of 'for' here u should use 'to'...I'm sure about it. bcuz I had it in grammar two, last semester. u can never use 'for' when u are talking about purposes but the times u are describing a thing. e.g: a spoon is for eating
    :Some other examples
    Correct: I went to market for some milk
    Correct: I went to market to buy some milk
    Incorrect: I went to market for buying some milk
    goooood luck
    Really thanks, many thanks

    I think the statement of:l
    'I'm a type of person who....'l
    is true, and I think using the article of "the" is also true:l
    I found these statements on some reliable sources:l
    I'm the type of person who worries that I will miss an important call
    I am a person who is easily distracted
    You are right in other cases

    Good luck and looking forward to reading your writing and also snowy'sl
    Last edited by SCYTHE; 02-09-2008 at 21:34.

  11. #57
    پروفشنال snowy_winter's Avatar
    تاريخ عضويت
    Jun 2006
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    645

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    hey, thaaanx for yr nice consideration, that is our aim here, I mean correcting our mistakes by everyone's help, so if I see any problem in yr I will put u wise. I hope we all do thatl
    Thanks a lotttt l
    And also thanks for the tip you've said about the difference of using "to" and "for".. I didn't know it.. thank you very much

    Dear SCYTHE, your writings were really great I couldn't find any problems either.. I just agree with sepid's comment about "the" and "swerved". In fact, about "the" your comment is right, too. So I think both of the uses are right but in this sentence "I'm a type of person who..." would be better

    By the way, I have a small suggestion for one of the sentences of your text:
    Furthermore, so many people that live in place that climate is steady, suffer sort of depression that is due to the lack of variation (variations?) of climate
    How about using some other relative clauses to avoid using "that"? Like: "so many people who live in places where the climate is steady suffer sort of depression that(which) is due to lack of variation of climate"

    I've also made some small changes to the sentence and I'm looking forward to hearing your opinions about itl





    Last edited by snowy_winter; 02-09-2008 at 23:52.

  12. این کاربر از snowy_winter بخاطر این مطلب مفید تشکر کرده است


  13. #58
    حـــــرفـه ای sepid12ir's Avatar
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    Sep 2007
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    firts I want u to accept my appology bcuz of this delay, I wanted to have the story yesterday but there was a problem n I couldn't access to p30
    n second, Bahraam, that was really hard to continue but I did it
    as soon as he reclined behind the bushes, he found out himself reclining beside a coprse n that caused him to shriek loudly n he just fled from that place n cencealed behind a tree. In that frigid n dismal night Tom was unable to get help from others, he was alone n he had to wait till morning. his hands n feet had become numb n he was trembling all the night n when he opened his eyes he found himself in a hospital. He could catch some of the inhabitants of his howtown around himself, he was not aware of what had happened to him n he just thanked God for surviving from such a peril

  14. این کاربر از sepid12ir بخاطر این مطلب مفید تشکر کرده است


  15. #59
    آخر فروم باز SCYTHE's Avatar
    تاريخ عضويت
    May 2008
    محل سكونت
    formidable paths
    پست ها
    1,744

    پيش فرض

    What kind of products you prefer, hand-made or machine made?l

    I think in this machine era, seeing scarce hand-made products which has been devised and created by especial talent of artists, persuade everyone that still minimally there are some essential areas in the life which can’t be replaced by machines. Annually we witness that machines are substituted for newer ones, but on the other hand, not only hand-made articles lose their prices, but get more and more expensive. Because, they’re typical work that cannot be recurred; the blend of art and unique talent of artists and also their creation dates has made them distinctive

  16. #60
    پروفشنال snowy_winter's Avatar
    تاريخ عضويت
    Jun 2006
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    645

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    What kind of products you prefer, hand-made or machine made?l

    I think in this machine era, seeing scarce hand-made products which has been devised and created by especial talent of artists, persuade everyone that still minimally there are some essential areas in the life which can’t be replaced by machines. Annually we witness that machines are substituted for newer ones, but on the other hand, not only hand-made articles lose their prices, but get more and more expensive. Because, they’re typical work that cannot be recurred; the blend of art and unique talent of artists and also their creation dates has made them distinctive
    Another nice writing.. Well done, buddy
    Just a couple of suggestions:

    I think you should use "have" instead of "has", since you're describing "hand-made products" which is plural.

    And I think it would be better to write "replaced with". Here's a example Cambridge Online Dictionary has expressed:
    The factory replaced most of its workers with robots.
    I'm in doubt about the underlined parts. I'm not sure about what I think. Let me wait for other friends' comments

    Looking forward to your comments, pals.. Please let me know if I've made any mistakes

    Last edited by snowy_winter; 05-09-2008 at 01:58.

  17. این کاربر از snowy_winter بخاطر این مطلب مفید تشکر کرده است


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