ENGLISH JOKES

[lovelykid]

Hey Guys! are you sure these are jokes?!
these are too long and I'm really lazy, is it possible to tell me which one is more funny?!

[sajjad1973]

Hey Guys! are you sure these are jokes?!
these are too long and I'm really lazy, is it possible to tell me which one is more funny?!

may be the shortest one, you can find the shortest one of this course on page 34 post 334, actually it's for elementry level, dont bother yourself with the next long jocks ,

[sajjad1973]

D11. Out fishing


won’t / wouldn’t for refusals


Jake was a keen fisherman and at the weekends he often took his boat out to the middle of the lake to relax and recover from the hustle and bustle of the working week. One day, Jake was sitting in his boat, enjoying the tranquility of the place. The sun was shining and he was listening to the gentle lapping of the water around his boat. He noticed a woman walking along by the side of a lake.
The woman stopped and called out, ‘Hey! You! Are you thinking out there?’
Jake was a bit annoyed at this disturbance of the peace of the lake, but he answered politely, ‘Yes, I’m thinking. I always come out fishing to get a bit of peace and quiet.’
The woman wouldn’t go away, as Jake hoped, but shook her head yelled again, ‘But you’re thinking!’
Jake was getting sick and tired of the woman by this stage so he shouted back again at her, ‘Yes, I was thinking until you interrupted me! Now, clear off and leave me alone. You’re disturbing the fish.’
He was surprised to see that the woman still wouldn’t walk away, but just stood on the lake side staring out at him. Since she wasn’t making any noise any more, he decided to just ignore her and carry on fishing. Suddenly, Jake noticed that the boat was filling up fast with water, and almost immediately the boat sank, forcing him to swim to the shore. He emerged from the lake, soaking wet from head to toe, freezing cold and completely miserable. The woman was standing next to him looking down at him.
‘I thaid that you were thinking,’ she said, ‘but you wouldn’t lithen.’

Grammar: won’t / wouldn’t for refusals

You can use won’t / wouldn’t to talk about refusals to do something.
I’ve asked my neighbours to talk more quietly but they won’t listen.

I shouted at the dog but it wouldn’t move.


This form can also be used to talk about instruments or machines which do not function properly.
I tried to open the door, but it wouldn’t move.

I keep clicking on my mouse but the window won’t open.

[Atefe_72]

?How do you count a herd of cattle
.With a cowculator

[Mad Dawgg]

thank you funnybots ! don't make me laugh anymore... am pissin ! ffs

[east&west]

Let’s take it a bit further a bit dirty

Knock-knock ! X
Who's there ? ? ? X
Dover
Dover who? X
Ben Dover and I'll give you a big surprise! X

Knock-knock ! X
Who's there ? ? ? X
Buster. X
Buster who? X
Buster Cherry! Is your daughter home? X

In Case you get wondered what a Knock Knock Joke is >>>>> [ برای مشاهده لینک ، با نام کاربری خود وارد شوید یا ثبت نام کنید ]

[lovelykid]

When Someone says -
"Nothing can be More Complicated than Love"
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Just throw Engineering Books on their face.....!! x

[lovelykid]

A good lecture should be like a Girl’s mini skirt…

Long enough to cover the subject &
short enough to create interest x

[east&west]

A good lecture should be like a Girl’s mini skirt…

Long enough to cover the subject &
short enough to create interest x

[lovelykid]

After a quarrel, a wife said to her husband, “You know, I was a fool when I married you.” The husband replied, “Yes, dear, but I was so in love and didn’t notice.” x