Chuck Norris facts
When Alexander Bell invented the telephone he had 3 missed calls from Chuck Norris
Fear of spiders is aracnaphobia, fear of tight spaces is chlaustraphobia, fear of Chuck Norris is called Logic
Chuck Norris doesn't call the wrong number. You answer the wrong phone
Chuck Norris has a grizzly bear carpet in his room. The bear isn't dead it is just afriad to move
Ghosts sit around the campfire and tell Chuck Norris stories
There used to be a street named after Chuck Norris, but it was changed because nobody crosses Chuck Norris and lives
Chuck Norris died 20 years ago, Death just hasn't built up the courage to tell him yet
Chuck Norris has already been to Mars; that's why there are no signs of life
Chuck Norris won American Idol using only sign language
Once the cop pulled over Chuck Norris....the cop was lucky to leave with a warning
Chuck Norris won the World Series of Poker using Pokemon cards
Some magicans can walk on water, Chuck Norris can swim through land
Chuck Norris can cut through a hot knife with butter
Chuck Norris and Superman once fought each other on a bet. The loser had to start wearing his underwear on the outside of his pants
Death once had a near-Chuck Norris experience
Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door
Chuck Norris can win a game of Connect Four in only three moves
Chuck Norris will never have a heart attack. His heart isn't nearly foolish enough to attack him
Chuck Norris once kicked a horse in the chin. Its decendants are known today as Giraffes
Chuck Norris once got bit by a rattle snake........ After three days of pain and agony ..................the rattle snake died
Chuck Norris can listen to music....on mute
Chuck Norris knows what he did, tomorrow
911dials Chuck Norris to see if there's any emergency he hasn't resolved yet. Chuck Norris usually laughs
Twitter subscribes to Chuck Norris
There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of animals Chuck Norris allows to live
When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he isn't lifting himself up, he's pushing the Earth down
If you type Chuck Norris into Microsoft Word, the little paper-clip just hangs himself
Chuck Norris can light a fire by rubbing two ice-cubes together
Whenever Chuck Norris came home late as a teen, his parents were grounded
Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird
Chuck Norris drew a triangle with four sides
when batman is in trouble, he turns on the Chuck Norris signal
"When Chuck Norris was asked if he believed that the world was going to end in 2012 he resonded: "Depends how I'm feeling that day
..Chuck Norris jumped off a building once. The ground didn't make it
MacGyver can build a bomb out of paper clips, rubber bands, and soda cans. Chuck Norris can build a bomb out of MacGyver
Chuck Norris hears sign language
The only word that rhymes with orange is Chuck Norris
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