ENGLISH JOKES

[M A X I M U M]

Jesus and the Robber One night a robber broke into a home and heard a voice say, "Jesus is watching you!" while he rumagged through the desk.

He replied, "Who said that?!"

Once again he heard the same thing, "Jesus is watching you!"

The robber looked around the room only to see a parrot. He asked the parrot what its name was. The parrot replied, "Cornelius."

The robber said, "What kind of a name is that?! Who names a parrot that?!"

The parrot said, "The same person who named that rottweiler behind you Jesus!"

[محمد88]

? Little Johnny: Teacher, can I go to the bathroom
? Teacher: Little Johnny, MAY I go to the bathroom
! Little Johnny: But I asked first

[محمد88]

A guy says to his friend, "Guess how many coins I have in my pocket."

The friend says, "If I guess right, will you give me one of them?"

The first guy says, "If you guess right, I'll give you both of them."

[m2stech]

[payam]

The doctor to the patient: 'You are very sick'
The patient to the doctor: 'Can I get a second opinion?'
The doctor again: 'Yes, you are very ugly too...'

[محمد88]

.A: Hey, man! Please call me a taxi
!B: of course, sir. You are a taxi
*****
"You look very funny wearing that belt"
"I would look even funnier if I didn't wear it"

[M O B I N]

i think this is funny

[zaqaqi]

Doctor: Your husband needs rest and peace. Here are some sleeping pills.
Wife: When must I give them to him?
Doctor: They are for you.

[محمد88]

.When I was young I didn't like going to weddings
"My grandmother would tell me, "You're next
!! However, she stopped doing that after I started saying the same thing to her at funerals

[محمد88]

.Two boys were arguing when the teacher entered the room
?"The teacher says, "Why are you arguing
."One boy answers, "We found a ten dollor bill and decided to give it to whoever tells the biggest lie
You should be ashamed of yourselves," said the teacher, "When I was your age I didn't even know
."what a lie was
!! Then the boys gave the ten dollars to the teacher