ENGLISH JOKES

[feri mankan]

Someone who is not polite,doesn't have wisdom.

The best among people is the one who benefits others.

Those who are nearest to God are they who are first to say hello.

[seymour]

these are Jokes ... ha ? ... better not be ..

[Narsis_E]

these are Jokes ... ha ? ... better not be ..

Exactly..ll

[Narsis_E]

You might be familiar with the story of Mr. Kordan, the interior minister, who “had claimed that he held
an honorary PhD from Oxford University. However, after a probe by the Majlis research committee it was revealed that his degree was bogus.

:This is the joke regarding him

Although his honorary Ph.D. was rejected, he found a place in Oxford University:

- Kordanize /‘k?rd?naiz/ (v.) [past tense: Kordanized / past participle: Kordanized (1): To get Ph.D without having B.Sc.
(2): To become an important person (e.g. minister) by presenting fake certificate or documents

- Kordanification( n.) l
(1): The process of receiving fake degree, especially from a prestigious university (e.g. Oxford)
(2): The relationship between happiness and telling a big lie.
(3): A method in order to gain Self confidence.

- Kordanism(n. )l
(1): The philosophy and strategy of telling lie to a large group of people (e.g. a nation)l
(2): A psychological method for deceiving people and laughing simultaneously.

- Kordanic(adj. ) l
(1): Happy
(2): Self Confident
(3): Relaxed

- Kordanicly(adv. ) l
(1): In a Kordanic manner.

[Narsis_E]

An Israeli doctor says 'Medicine in my country is so advanced that we
can take a kidney out of one man, put it in another, and have him
looking for work in six weeks.'

A German doctor says 'That is nothing; we can take a lung out of one
person, put it in another, and have him looking for work in four
weeks.
The Russian doctor says 'In my country, medicine is so advanced that
we can take half a heart out of one person, put it in another, and
have them both looking for work in two weeks.'

An American Texas doctor, not to be outdone, says 'You guys are way
behind, we recently took a man with no brains out of Texas, put him in
the White House for eight years, and now half the country is looking
for work.'

And what will an Iranian doctor say ?!l

[AAKOJ]

A man was fishing and he caught a crocodile. The crocodile told him, "Please let me go. I'll grant you any wish you desire." The man said, "Okay. I wish my 'old man' could nearly touch the floor." .. the crocodile bit off his legs.

[AAKOJ]

Is Windows a Virus
No, Windows is not a virus. Here's what viruses do:

1.They replicate quickly - okay, Windows does that.

2.Viruses use up valuable system resources, slowing down the system as they do so - okay, Windows does that.

3.Viruses will, from time to time, trash your hard disk - okay, Windows does that too.

4.Viruses are usually carried, unknown to the user, along with valuable programs and systems. - Sigh.. Windows does that, too.

5.Viruses will occasionally make the user suspect their system is too slow (see 2) and the user will buy new hardware. - Yup, Windows does that, too.

Until now it seems Windows is a virus but there are fundamental differences: Viruses are well supported by their authors, are running on most systems, their program code is fast, compact and efficient and they tend to become more sophisticated as they mature.

So Windows is not a virus.

It's a bug:.

[AAKOJ]

A guy is walking past a big wooden fence at the insane asylum and he hears all the residents inside chanting, "Thirteen! Thirteen! Thirteen!

Quite curious about this, he finds a hole in the fence, and looks in. Someone inside pokes him in the eye. Then everyone inside the asylum starts chanting, "Fourteen! Fourteen! Fourteen!

[m007007]

A guy phones up his Boss, but gets the bosses' wife instead:


"I'm afraid he died last week." she explains.

The next day the man calls again and asks for the boss.
"I told you" the wife replies, "he died last week."

The next day he calls again and once more asks to speak to his boss. By this time the wife is getting upset and shouts:
"I'VE ALREADY TOLD YOU TWICE, MY HUSBAND, YOUR BOSS, DIED LAST WEEK! WHY DO YOU KEEP CALLING?"

. . . . . . . . . . .

.

.

.



he replied laughing, "Coz . . ." "I just love hearing it. . . ."

[m007007]

"POOR BOYS!"



When a Girl Cries ------------The World "Consoles" her



But when a boy cries ---------- They say Come on man don't be A "Girl"





If A Girl slaps a Boy ----------- Definitely the Boy would have "done something"



If Boy Slaps a girl -------------- Rascal doesn't know how to "Respect Ladies"





If a Girl is talking to Boys ----- She is "Very Friendly"



If a Boy talks to a Girl ---------- He is "flirting"





If a Girl meets with accident -------------------- Then its "mistake of others"



If a Boy meets with same accident -----------?- --?------ "Don't you know how to Drive"



What A World Is this
Please help me GOd