!Just For Love n Laugh ,only in this topic

[lovelykid]

Hi, My Friends
I open this topic because the place of it is empty in this forum!
In this topic, u can write any SMS (joke, lovely message, beautiful sentence ,…) n u can write every funny event is happened for u n your friends!:27: In sundries Forum, there is a topic with name Sooti Bazar!:18: , this topic is Sooti Bazar for this Forum too!
Let's Start

[lovelykid]

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hi Guys
Please tell me your Idea about this topic ,if it's not good then I can Stop my work!



Roses of red grow in my heart and they will never wither... 'Cause they bloom every time I see your smile, hear your voice or just think of you!

One day you will ask me: What is more important to you, me or your life? I will say: my life… You will walk away from me without knowing that YOU ARE MY LIFE!

My love, words however special ... could never even start, to tell you all the love I have for you within my heart!!!

Most wonderful pairs in the world are:-
HEART & BEAT
NIGHT & MOON
BIRDS & SONGS
ROSES & LOVE
U & UR SMILE.
SO KEEP SMILING ALWAYS.


Loving you could take my life, but when I look into your eyes, I know you're worth that sacrafice!

If I had a penny for everytime I thought of you, I'd still miss you, but at least I would be rich enough to come and see you..!!

If I died or went somewhere far, I'd write your name on every star so everyone could look up and see you mean the world to me
It takes a minute to have a crush, an hour to like someone, and a day to love someone, but it takes a lifetime to forget someone.
When God gave you to me, he planted the image of you deep in my heart.
I love you more than all the tea in China.
If love were a movie, you'd be a coming attraction.
If love were to be taxed, I would be the highest tax payer.
A day without your love is a day without life




My eyes miss u
My Lips kiss u
My fell love u
My mind call u
My neat just 4u
My life is u
My Dear ,I love:40: u!

U r like sunshine ,so warm
U r like sugar, so sweet
U r like u n that's the reason why I love:40: u!

Present with an open face at home
To miss u when u leave home:40:!
[/LEFT]

[lovelykid]

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God made man and then rested. God made women and then no one rested

The longest sentence known to man: "I do."

Crime doesn't pay...Does that mean my job is a crime?

This dog, is dog, a dog, good dog, way dog, to dog, keep dog, an dog, idiot dog, busy dog, for dog, 20 dog, seconds dog! ... Now read without the word dog.

Why were males created before females?
Cos you always need a rough draft before the final copy.


Do you ever notice that when you're driving, anyone going slower than you is an idiot and everyone driving faster than you is a maniac?

Q:What is the difference between a wife and a girlfriend?
A:About 45 pounds!!

I've used up all my sick days, so I'm calling in dead.

Boss: (to employee) - Experts say humor on the job relieves tension in this time of down-sizing, Knock, Knock.
Employee: Who's there?
Boss: Not you anymore.

What's the diff between a Rottwieler and a Poodle?
If Rotty starts humping your leg, let it finish.

[lovelykid]

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What is the difference between a woman and a magnet?
Magnets have a positive side!

The probability of someone watching you is proportional to the stupidity of your action.

WOMAN: The most efficient money reducing agent known to man-kind!

Why did Tigger stick his head in the toilet?
He was looking for Pooh!

What do you say to a woman with 2 black eyes?
You don't, you've told her twice already!

What's the difference between Margaret Thatcher and Edwina Currie?
One screwd the miners, the other screwed Majors

Q: What happens when a blonde gets Alzheimers disease?
A: Her IQ goes up.

Jesus saves, he shoots, HE SCORES!!

Any woman that thinks the way to a mans heart is through his stomach is aiming just a little too high.

I'm late for work because the train driver had an out of body experience and didn't come back for a day and a half.

I like Kids. But I don't think I could eat a whole one.

How many men do you need for a mafia funeral?
Only one. To slam the car boot shut.

For sale : Twin beds, one hardly used.

[lovelykid]

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What do you call a Lada/Skoda at the top of a hill? A miracle.

Whats the definitoin of suspicion? A nun doing pressups in a cucumber field.

What are 3 words you never wanna hear whilst making love? Honey, I'm home!

What do you get when you cross ESP with PMS? A b.itch who knows everything.

Q: How many men does it take to change a toilet roll?
A: We don't know. Never happens.


Q: Why was the leper caught speeding?
A: He couldn't take his foot of the accelerator.

A chicken sandwidch walked into the bar, ordered some food and beer. The bartender says: "Sorry, we don't serve food here".
A: Because people keep hitting them with dictionaries.

I've got the ship, you've got the harbor ... what say we tie up for the night?
If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together.

Why'd the couple stop after 3 children? Cos they heard every fourth child born is chinese.

What did the drummer get on his IQ test? Drool...

[lovelykid]

I can please only one person per day. Today is not your day. Tomorrow isn't looking good either.



It's no accident that stressed spelled backwards is desserts.



I wonder if you choke a smurf, what color does it turn?



Just because you're paranoid, it doesn't mean they're NOT out to get you.



You're slower than a herd of turtles stampeding through peanut butter.



I'd explain it to you, but your brain would explode.



My Reality Check bounced.



Minds are like Parachutes. They work best when open.



Do not meddle in the affairs of cats, for they are subtle and will whiz on your computer.



Lightyears ahead! Just a phonecall away!


Very funny Scotty. Now beam up my clothes.



Do chickens think rubber humans are funny?



There cannot be a crisis today; my schedule is already full.



Borrow money from pessimists--they don't expect it back



As a computer, I find your faith in technology amusing



Nothing in the known universe travels faster than a bad check.



What do you call a handcuffed man?
- Trustworthy.

[lovelykid]

[ برای مشاهده لینک ، لطفا با نام کاربری خود وارد شوید یا ثبت نام کنید ]


What's the quietest place in the world? The complaint department at the parachute packing plant

Q: What do you do when a blonde throws a pin at you?
A: Run like hell....she's got a hand grenade in her mouth.

Why don't men often show their true feelings?
- Because they don't have any.

What is the thinnest book in the world?
What Men Know About Women.

A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.

Marriage is a three ring circus: an engagement ring, a wedding ring, and suffering

Marriage is the process of finding out what kind of man your wife would have preferred.

If you jogged backward ... would you gain weight?

If you can't change your mind, are you sure you still have one?

Did you ever walk into a room and and forget why you walked in? that's how dogs spend their lives.

I'm not into working out. My philosophy: No pain. No pain.

Did you hear about the idiot who walked around the world? He drowned.

[lovelykid]

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20% of the population is now drinking coffee, 60% is having s*e*x, 19% is watching television and one yokel is now holding his mobile in his hand


Be nice to the ones who smoke.. every cigarette migh be their last.


Birdy birdy in the sky, left a poopie in my eye. Me don't care, me don't cry, me just happy that a cow can't fly!!


a man pays $.2,00 for a $.1,00 item that he needs, a woman pays $.1,00 for $.2,00 item that she does not need.


God created the earth, God created the woods, God created you too, but yes, even God makes mistakes!


HALLO, this is your mobile. There is no particular problem. I just wanted to leave your pocket, want the smell is unbearable!!!


Hello, this is GOD. I make few bad creations but you are the worst monster I ever realised. My apologies on behalf of the whole world..


I am a killer,I kill people for money.....But because you are my friend,I'll kill you for nothing!


If would like to be a volcano... smoke all day and people say ... look he is working!

[lovelykid]

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Love is like war ... Easy to start ... Difficult to end ... Impossible to forget...

The words are easy when the language is LOVE !

I wanted to send you all my love but the postman said it was too big !

If a big fat man creeps into your bedroom one night and stuffs you into a bag, Then do not worry 'cause I told Santa I wanted you for christmas!

I feel something in my heart, it's like a little flame, every time I see you, this flame lights up, this flame is special for you, because I LOVE YOU!.…

You can fall from a bridge, you can fall from above, but the best way of falling, is falling in love!

LOVE is something beautiful,a desire, a feeling that one would like to catch. LOVE is the feeling that makes you feel alive. LOVE is something that may never go away!

If you live to be a hundred , I want to be a hundred minus one day , so I don't have to live a day without you...

When the night comes, look at the sky. If you see a falling star, don't wonder why, just make a wish. Trust me, it will come true, 'cause I did it and I found you!

What is a flower without the sun, what is the earth without the sky. What am I without you, that is why I tell you … I love you

Love is forever, only the partners change...

[lovelykid]

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When I was a dog, and you were a flower, I walked over you and gave you a shower!!

i want u 2 know dat our friendship means alot 2 me.U cry i cry.U lauf i lauf.U jump out of da window... I look down & den... i lauf again

You with your beautiful eyes, you with your nice hair, you with your fantastic body ... o, sorry, wrong number

Hey can u do me a favour, take a pic of urself n send me it, i'm playin cards n i'm missin the joker!!

Hey friend remember dat without stupidity there can be no wisdom & without ugliness there can be no beauty… so the world needs YOU after all!

Those beautiful eyes, that incredible body, such a brain, a s*exy mouth, nice smile .... but that is enough about me, tell me how you are?

You are an unwanted child. Your parents paid the medical expenses for your birth with their accident insurance.

You used to be so ugly that your mother had to tie a steak around your neck, otherwise even the dog would not play with you

[lovelykid]

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Like a rose needs water, like a season needs change, like a poet needs a pen, I need you!!


It must have been a rainy day when you were born, but it wasn't really rain, the sky was crying because it lost his most beautifull angel...!


The moment I first saw you, you warmed my heart, the second time you made little flames and now you make my heart burn like hell !


They learned me that one hours equals 60 minutes and that one minute equals 60 seconds, but they never told me that one second without you can last for ever!


If the world was made of paper and the sea of ink, I would write everywhere that I like you!


If you were a tear I would never dare to cry. I might lose you !


If your heart was a prison, I would like to be sentenced for life


3 words made my heart beat faster, 3 words made my legs shake 3 words made my head spin, 3 words: I love you!


To the whole world you are somebody....but to somebody you are the whole world


If you are mad at me, you might just as well give me all my kisses back !

[lovelykid]

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A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T V W X Y Z
oops! i miss "U"


the hardesd thing in life is watching someone you love , loving someone else


In the morning I do not eat because I think of you, at noon I do not eat because I think of you, in the evening I do not eat because I think of you, at night I do not sleep because I am hungry.


I would like to be a tear, born in your eyes, alive passing your cheeks and dieing on your lips.


You always smile, you never say no, you never hurt me, my dear sweet teddybear!


It takes a minute to have a crush, an hour to like someone, and a day to love someone, but it takes a lifetime to forget someone.


You many meet people better than me, funnier than me, more hilarious than me, but one thing I can say to you, I will 'ALWAYS' be there when they ALL leave YOU!


Hearts could only love for a while, feets could only walk for some miles, clothes won't 4ever be in style, but having U as my 'lover' is 4ever worthwhile....


If u read,u owe me a HUG,
if u delete,u Owe me a KISS,
if u save,u owe me a DATE,
if u return txt msg 2 me, u OWE me All,
bt if u ignore, U r MINe!
So wat will U do?


If I could rearrange the alphabet, Id put U and I together.


There are thousands of roses on this world, even if I gave you every rose to you, that would not be enough to tell you how much I love you!


When a heart is the sign of love ,and red the colour ...and when walking around with your head in the clouds means that one is in love..Why do I draw a line in blue and am I only thinking of you ?


In dreams and in love there are no impossibilities.

[lovelykid]

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Those who think that things happen too fast are expected in a bank or a post office!


The Alpahbet
a-ur attractive
b-ur beautiful
c-ur caring
d-ur delicous
e-ur exciting
f-ur funny
g-ur gorgeous
h-ur heavenly
I-IM
J-JUST
K-KIDDING
L-LOSER!

There are 206 bones in your body! Would u like another?

Do you like maths, if so add a bed, subtract urclothes, divide your legs and we can multiply!

MONEY: can buy a house, but not a HOME. can buy a clock, but not TIME. can buy s*ex, but not LOVE. So pass me all ur $ n let me suffer 4 U

There are 4 animal species a woman needs in her life:
Jaguar in her garage,
mink in hercloset,
tiger in her bed!
And of course a donkey to pay her bills!!

Love is a name, S*ex is a game. Forget the name and play the game!

[lovelykid]

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I asked God 4 a flower, he gave me a garden. Asked 4 a tree, he gave me a forest. Asked 4 a river, he gave me an ocean. Asked 4 a friend, he gave me you


Friends are like stars... you don't see them all the time, but you know they're there!


If love is water, I'll give u the ocean. If kisses are spaces, I'll give u the universe... If heat was your love & care, how I wish the sun was beside me...


If I had the letter "HRT", I can add "EA" to get heart or a "U" and get "HURT".
But Id rather choose "U" and get "HURT" than to have a "HEART" without "U".


why say HI! if u mean I MISS U.. why say LET'S GO! if u mean I WANT 2 B W/ U..
why say STAY! if u can say B WITH ME... and why say I CARE wen ur heart says I LOVE U!

when God gave us friendships he tried to be fair, but when i got you, i got more than my share!

[lovelykid]

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Can I go to the theatre? Asks a mosquito to her mother
"yes but be aware, pay attention during the applause.!


How to keep an idiot entertained ,*press down*
...
.......
.............
....................

How to keep an idiot entertained ,*press up*!


Can I have your picture? ......... I save natural disasters




The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think!

[lovelykid]

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Why does a stupid woman sneak past the pharmacy? ................. She does not want to wake the sleeping tablets!


When you harrass a boy, pull his pants down and your skirt up, because you can run faster with your skirt up than he with his pants down!


If I'd had a face like yours, I'd sue my parents !


What is the penalty for bigamy? ............... Two mothers-in-law !


Do you think I can live for another fourty years? ... Do you drink? ... No! ... Do you smoke? ... No! ... Do you visit the wh*ores? ... No! ....... Why do you want to live another fourty years?!


Do you believe that getting married on a Friday brings bad luck ?
"Of course, why would Friday be an exception?!"

As i lie on my bed and look at the stars, and the moon, and the sky... i wonder...
WHAT HAPPENED TO MY ROOF?!?!?!?

[lovelykid]

Hi , Guys
if u can't help me but u can thanks me
!


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If u r an "Ice cream" then u r so sweet.
If u r "Rose" then u r so soft.
If u r a "star" then u r so bright.
If u r my "Friend'' then ! oh my God u r so "LUCKY" !


Some times my mind asks why i miss u ,why i care u, why i rember u ,then my heart answers because a mentally patient needs more care!


what is the diference b/w stress,tension & panic?
Stress is when wife is pregnant, tension is when girlfriend is pregnant & panic is when both r pregnant !!!


Love and death r two uninvited guests,When they will come!! nobody knows, but both hv similar effcts .
One takes the heart..
The other takes its beats!


He came at night, explored my body,got on top of me,touched me, he bit, s*ucked, swallowed, when he was satisfied, he left, i was hurt,
.
.
.
BLOODY… MOSQUITO !!!!

[lovelykid]

[ برای مشاهده لینک ، لطفا با نام کاربری خود وارد شوید یا ثبت نام کنید ]


A famous writer said :
"Love is like a long sweet dream n Marriage is an alarm clock"
So have sweet dreams till ur alarm wakes U up


People say there is no Diference between COMPLETE & FINISH. But there is a Differnce :
When u Love That right one u r COMPLETE & When u Love That Wrong one u r FINISHED!


1st time i saw u i was scared 2 touch u.1st time i touched u i was scared 2 kiss u.1st time i kiss u i was scared to luv u.but now dat i luv u im scared 2 lose u!


If i were a tear in ur eye, i wood roll down onto ur lips.But if u were a tear in my eye i wood never cry as i wood be afraid 2 lose u!


"LOVE" is the medicine from any kind of pain but be sure....
There is no medicine in the world from the pain given by the "LOVE"!


I m feeling so happy, do u know why? cuz i m so lucky, do u know how? cuz God loves me.Do u know how? cuz he gave me a gift. Do u know what? its YOU my love.


A little pain in my heart. A small tear in my eyes And sadness falls on my face. What is this? Its nothing. "Just i love u "


Talk 2 me when i’m bored, kiss me when i’m sad, hug me when i cry, care for me when i die, love me when i’m still alive.


I’m a PAPER, u can write ur feelings, scribble ur anger, use me 2 absorb tears. Don’t throw me after use but when u feel cold burn me to feel warm coz I Luv U.


24 SmileS..

:-)
:-):-)
:-):-):-)
:-):-):-):-)
:-) :-) :-) :-)
:-):-):-):-)
:-):-):-)
:-):-)
:-)

For You,

One For Each Hour.!
So ThaT You Keep SMiLiNG 24 HOURS At EiD DaY..


Find ARMS that will HOLD u at ur WEAKEST EYES that will SEE u at ur UGLIEST HEART that will LOVE u at ur WORST
If u've found it, u've found LOVE


If heaven Was A Bird, I Would Catch It 4 U.. If heaven Was A Fruit, I Would Pick It 4 U.. If heaven Was An Orange, I Would Peel It 4 U.. But, heaven Is What Our Eyes Have Not Seen.. I Make pray And Hope God Reserves It 4 U..

[lovelykid]

[ برای مشاهده لینک ، لطفا با نام کاربری خود وارد شوید یا ثبت نام کنید ]


When god created the men he was only kidding.

God created the universe, the earth, nature, the eggs, man and saw that it was good and beautiful. God also created woman and thought : ‘I hope she will make herself up’!

I am a killer,I kill people for money.....But because you are my friend,I'll kill you for nothing!

I saw sumthing in da shop window 2day.It was stunning s*exy cute beautiful & adorable.I was supposed 2buy it4u till i realised it was my own REFLECTION

Smoking is allowed in this area, blowing not!

BEEB! Send this message to 5 of your friends and you will have unbelievable s*ex tonight! If you break this chain, you'll never have multiple o*rgasms again!

I'm a bit shy...I'd like to have s*ex with you, you do not have to say yes, just smile to me!

Do you know why a waterbed needs to be filled with seawater?...For the mussels need to be able to open!

Women are like little children, they put everything they see in their mouth!

Do you know that you would look great with two pounds less ... in my opinion those clothes weigh exactly two pounds !

[lovelykid]

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You are so beautiful, sweet and faithful... It is a pity that I do not like animals!!!

I think you are ugly and stupid, You are a real pain in the …... Wait a moment.... oh no, I do have the right number...

Roses are red, violets are blue, when I sense the smell of the bathroom, I think of you!

I do not swear, I do not smoke and I do not drink! O damned my cigarette has fallen in my glass of beer...

You have the face of a saint...a Saint-Bernard!

Why do men f*art more often than women ? Because women do not keep their mouth shut long enough to build up the pressure..

I wanted to send u something nice that would make u smile but the postman told me to get out of the mailbox!

[lovelykid]

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1000 words 1 cood say.1000 wishes 1 cood pray.1000 miles legs cood walk.1000 sounds a mouth cood talk.1000 times ill b true.1000 ways 2 say i luv u!

I miss you so, here around me, so many people, but yet so alone. I miss your lips, your lovely smile, I miss you each day more and more!

There are so many people in the world but in my world there's only one and that's you!!!

I want to share everything with you, your sadness, your happy moments, every single second of the day.

Don't listen to your mind. Listen always to your heart!

[lovelykid]

[ برای مشاهده لینک ، لطفا با نام کاربری خود وارد شوید یا ثبت نام کنید ]


Without Love -- days are
"Sadday,
moanday,
tearsday,
wasteday,
thirstday,
frightday,
shatterday... so be in Love everyday!


There Were Times You Make Me Cry… Looking 4 A Reason Why… There Were Times You Make Me Fly…Stay With Me Until I Die…Stay With Me


Never frown, even when you are sad, because you never know who is falling in love with your smile.


Life ends when you stop dreaming, hope ends when you stop believing and love ends when you stop caring. So dream hope and love...Makes Life Beautiful


When time comes for u to give ur heart to someone, make sure u select someone who will never break ur heart, cuz broken hearts has never spare parts!


I m going to write on all the bricks I MISS U and i wish that one falls on ur head,so that u knows how it hurts when u miss someone special like u!


If 10 people care 4 u, one of them is me, if 1 person cares 4 u that would be me again, if no 1 cares 4 u that means i m not in this world.


I love all the stars in the sky, but they are nothing compared to the ones in your eyes!

[lovelykid]

Q. What is the difference between men and government bonds?
A. The bonds mature!

Q. What do they call a woman who works as hard as a man?
A. Lazy!

Q: What is the difference between a mathematician and a philosopher?
A: The mathematician only needs paper, pencil, and a trash bin for his work - the philosopher can do without the trash bin!

Q: What does the zero say to the the eight?
A: Nice belt!

Q: How does one insult a mathematician?
A: You say: "Your brain is smaller than any >0!"

Q: Why do you rarely find mathematicians spending time at the beach?
A: Because they have sine and cosine to get a tan and don't need the sun!

Q. Why are married women heavier than single women?
A. Single women come home, see what's in the fridge and go to bed. Married women come home, see what's in bed and go to the fridge!

Q: How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart?
A: When she starts her sentence with "A man once told me..."

[lovelykid]

Q. Why do morons like lightning?
A. They think someone is taking their picture!

Q. What do you do if a moron throws a grenade at you?
A. Pull the pin and throw it back at him!

Q. How did the moron fall on the floor?
A. He tripped over the cordless phone!

Q. Why did the moron climb the glass wall ?
A. To see what was on the other side!

Q. How do you confuse a moron?
A. Put him in a round room and tell him to sit in one corner!

Q. Why can't a moron dial 911?
A. He can't find the 11 on the phone!

Q. How do you keep a moron in suspense?
A. I'll tell you tomorrow!

[lovelykid]

Eleven people were hanging on a rope under a helicopter, ten men and one woman. The rope was not strong enough to carry them all, so they decided that one has to drop off, otherwise they are all going to fall. They were not able to choose that person, but then the woman made a very touching speech. She said that she would voluntarily let go of the rope, because as woman she was used to giving up everything for her husband and kids, and for men in general, without ever getting anything in return. As soon as she finished her speech, all the men started clapping their hands.


One day a girl brings home her boyfriend and tells her father she wants to marry him. After talking to him for while, he tells his daughter she can't do it because he's her half brother. The same problem happens again four more times! The girl starts to get pissed off. She goes to her mom and says, "Mom... What have you been doing all your life? Dad's been going around laying every maiden in the town and now I can't marry any of the five guys I like because they have turned out to be my half brothers!!!" Her mom replies, "Don't worry darling, you can marry any one of them you want, he isn't really your dad."


A man hasn't been feeling well, so he goes to his doctor for a complete check-up. Afterward, the doctor comes out with the results. "I'm afraid I have some very bad news," the doctor says. "You're dying, and you don't have much time left." "Oh, that's terrible!" says the man. "How long have I got?" "Ten," the doctor says sadly. "Ten?" the man asks. "Ten what? Months? Weeks? What?!" The doctor interrupts, "Nine..."


A woman went to her doctor for a follow-up visit after the doctor had prescribed testosterone for her. She was a little worried about some of the side effects she was experiencing. "Doctor, the hormones you've been giving me have really helped, but I'm afraid that you're giving me too much. I've started growing hair in places that I've never grown hair before."
The doctor reassured her. "A little hair growth is a perfectly normal side effect of testosterone. Just where has this hair appeared?"
"On my b*alls."


Man says to God: "God, why did you make woman so beautiful?"
God says: "So you would love her."
"But God," the man says, "why did you make her so dumb?"
God says: "So she would love you."

[lovelykid]

Two good friends are out driving on Route 66 and one guy has to take a leak. Being in the middle of nowhere they pull over by some shrubbery and the guy goes to relieve himself. Suddenly, he screams "Aaagh! a rattler bit my cock!"
"Relax!" says his friend, "I'll go find a pay phone and call a doctor." So his friend drives off and finds a pay phone, call a doctor and asks what he should do.
"Well," said the doc," you must cut crosses in the wound and suck out the poison."
"Is that the only way Doc?" asked the man.
"Yes, you must do that or he'll die."
He finally gets back to friend and his friend asked "So, what did the doctor say?"
"You're gonna die, buddy. You're gonna die


The tired doctor was awakened by a phone call in the middle of the night. "Please, you have to come right over," pleaded the distraught young mother. "My child has swallowed a c*ontraceptive."
The physician dressed quickly; but before he could get out the door, the phone rang again.
"You don't have to come over after all," the woman said with a sigh of relief. "My husband just found another one."

[lovelykid]

A woman goes to her doctor complaining that she is exhausted all the time. After the diagnostic tests showed nothing, the doctor gets around to asking her how often she has i*ntercourse.
"Every Monday, Wednesday, and Saturday," she says.
The doctor advises her to cut out Wednesday.
"I can't," says the woman. "That's the only night I'm home with my husband."

An elderly woman went into the doctor's office. When the doctor asked why she was there, she replied, "I'd like to have some birth control pills."
Taken aback, the doctor thought for a minute and then said, "Excuse me, Mrs. Smith, but you're 75 years old. What possible use could you have for birth control pills?"
The woman responded, "They help me sleep better."
The doctor thought some more and continued, "How in the world do birth control pills help you to sleep?"
The woman said, "I put them in my granddaughter's orange juice and I sleep better at night."


A woman goes to her doctor who verifies that she is pregnant. This is her first pregnancy. The doctor asks her if she has any questions. She replies, "Well, I'm a little worried about the pain. How much will childbirth hurt?"
The doctor answered, "Well, that varies from woman to woman and pregnancy to pregnancy and besides, it's difficult to describe pain."
"I know, but can't you give me some idea?" she asks.
"Grab your upper lip and pull it out a little..."
"Like this?"
"A little more..."
"Like this?"
"No. A little more..."
"Like this?"
"Yes. Does that hurt?"
"A little bit."
"Now stretch it over your head!"

[lovelykid]

i hope all of u enjoy from this sms n small stories, u can write your sms here but pay attention that choice the best sms n sentences from internet n try to avoid from S*exy sms
i try to update this topic dailly!:21: but u can help to be better
thanks:11:

[lovelykid]

Q. Where do you find a no legged dog?
A. Right where you left him!


Q. What is the difference between "Oooh!" and "Aaah!"?
A. About three inches!


Q. Why do women have two holes so close together?
A. In case you miss!


Q. What do you find in a clean nose?
A. Fingerprints!


Q. Why can't scientists find a cure for AIDS?
A. They can't get the laboratory mice to a*rse f*uck!


Q. How can you tell if you have acne?
A. If the blind can read your face!

[lovelykid]

Q. What does Star Trek and toilet paper have in common?
A. They both circle Uranus looking for Black Holes!


Q. What's the definition of mixed emotions?
A. When you see your mother-in-law backing off a cliff in your new car!!


Q. What does a skeleton get when he goes to a bar?
A. A beer and a mop!


Q. Why did the koala fall out of the tree?
A. Because it was dead!


Q. Why don't cannibals eat clowns?
A. Because they taste funny!


Q. What does it mean when a baby is born with teeth?
A. It means that the baby's mother may want to rethink her plans to nurse.


Q. What is the best time to wean the baby from nursing?
A. When you see teeth marks.

[lovelykid]

Q. Why did the boy tiptoe past the medicine cabinet?
A. He didn't want to wake the sleeping pills!


Q. Why did Tommy throw the clock out of the window?
A. Because he wanted to see time fall!


Q. When do you stop at green and go at red?
A. When you're eating a watermelon!


Q. Why did the baby strawberry cry?
A. Because his parents were in a jam!


Q. When does a cart come before a horse?
A. In the dictionary!


Q. Why did the one-handed man cross the road?
A. He wanted to get to the second-hand shop!


Q. Why did the little boy put lipstick on his head?
A. He wanted to make up his mind!

[lovelykid]

Q. What did the pencil sharpener say to the pencil?
A. Stop going in circles and get to the point!


Q: How do you make a blonde laugh on Saturday?
A: Tell her a joke on Wednesday!


Q: What is the blonde doing when she holds her hands tightly over her ears?
A: Trying to hold on to a thought!


Q: Why don't blondes have elevator jobs?
A: They don't know the route!


Q. What did Helen Keller do when she fell down the well?
A. She screamed her hands off!


Q: What do Michael Jackson and an Xbox have in common?
A: Both get turned on by kids!!!


Q: What is Michael Jackson's favorite holiday?
A: Christmas because he gives the well behaved kids a special gift..!

[lovelykid]

Q: Why did the blonde call the welfare office?
A: She wanted to know how to cook food stamps!


Q. What do blondes and beer bottles have in common?
A. Their both empty from the neck up!


Q. Why do blondes wear underwear?
A. To keep their ankles warm!


Q. Why did the deaf blonde sit on the newspaper?
A. So she could lip read!


Q. What's the difference between a blonde and a solar powered calculator?
A. The blonde works in the dark!


Q. What does a blonde put behind her ears to make her more attractive?
A. Her ankles!


Q. Why is a blonde like an old washing machine?
A. They both drip when they're f*ucked!

[lovelykid]

Q. Why don’t blondes eat bananas?
A. They can’t find the zipper!


Q. What do you see when you look into a blonde’s eyes?
A. The back of her head!


Q. What did the blonde say to her doctor when he told her she was pregnant?
A. "Is it mine?"!


Q. Why can't a blonde get a drivers license?
A. Because every time the instructor says "Let's park" she jumps in the back seat!


Q. What did the blonde do when she got her period?
A. Looked around for the bastard that must have shot her!


Q. Why did the blonde have tire tread marks on her back?
A. From crawling across the street when the sign said “Don’t Walk”!

[lovelykid]

Q. Why couldn't the blonde write the number ELEVEN?
A. She didn't know what ONE came first!


Q. Why did the blonde keep ice cubes in the freezer?
A. So she could keep the refrigerator cold!


Q. Why was the blonde confused after giving birth to twins?
A. She couldn’t figure out who the other mother was!


Q. Why did the blonde get so excited after she finished her jigsaw puzzle in only 6 months?
A. Because on the box it said From 2-4 years.


Q. How do you amuse a blonde for hours?
A. Write 'Please turn over' on both sides of a piece of paper.


Q. What is the difference between a blonde and a toilet?
A. A toilet won't follow you around after you use it.


Q. Why did the blonde tattoo her zip code on her stomach?
A. So her male would get delivered to the right box.


Q. What is the blonde's chronic speech impediment?
A. She can't say "No".


Q: Have you heard what my blond neighbor wrote on the bottom of her swimming pool?
A: No smoking.


Q. If an blonde and a brunette jumped off a bridge, who would die first?
A. The brunette -- because the blonde would have to stop and ask for directions!


Q. Why did the blonde fail her drivers license?
A. She wasn't used to the front seat!

[lovelykid]

Q. How did the blonde try to kill the bird?
A. She threw it off a cliff.


Q. How does a blonde kill a fish?
A. She drowns it.


Q. How does a blonde kill a worm?
A. She buries it.


Q. What did the blonde say to the physicist?
A. "Why, I just love nuclear fission! What do you use for bait?"


Q. Why did the blonde die in a helicopter crash?
A. She got cold and turned off the fan.


Q. What was the blonde psychic's greatest achievement?
A. An IN-body experience!


Q. What is the difference between a blonde and "The Titanic"?
A. They know how many men went down on "The Titanic".!


Q. How a blonde change a light bulb?
A. She holds the bulb and the world revolves around her!

[SCYTHE]

Thanks, it was funny
[ برای مشاهده لینک ، لطفا با نام کاربری خود وارد شوید یا ثبت نام کنید ]

[lovelykid]

Q: What does a owl say?
A: What, what?!


Q: What did the fish say when he hit the wall?
A: DAM!!


Q. How do you know when a blonde's been in your fridge?
A. Lipstick on the cucumbers!


Q. Why do blondes have little holes all over their faces?
A. From eating with forks!


Q. What do blondes and turtles have in common?
A. When they are on their backs they are screwed!

[lovelykid]

News: 3 Chimps escaped from the zoo... 1 was caught watching tv... another playing football and the third one was caught reading this txt message!

What did one ghost say to another?
Do you believe in people?

"My wife doesn't know what she wants."
"You're lucky. My wife does."

"What do use for washing dishes?"
"Oh, I tried many things but found my husband best."


"Why don't you give your husband a divorce?"
"What, I have lived with him for ten years and now I should make him happy?"

"Young man, do you think you can handle a variety of work?"
"I ought to be able to. I've had 12 different jobs in four months."

The best way of saving money is to forget who you borrowed it from!

[lovelykid]

Hello, this is Death. Please answer when you're ready!


Scientists all over the world r wondering how long a human being can live without a brain… Kindly tell them ur age!


I’ve written nice poem 4 you. Twinkle Twinkle Little Star.. You should Know What you R.. & Once you Know What you R.. Mental Hospital is not So Far!


When i open my eyes every morning i pray to God that everyone should have a friend like you.... Why should only i suffer!!!


When I was born Devil said...Oh S*hit!!! Another Angel!!!..& When u were born devil said ...Oh S*hit!!!!Competition...!!!


Who said english is easy?Fill in the blank with YES or No!
1.-----,I dont have brain
2.-----,I dont have sence
3.-----,I am stupid!


When your LIFE is in DARKNESS, PRAY GOD and ask him to free you from Darkness.
Even after you pray, if U R still in Darkness , Please PAY the ELECTRICITY BILL!


Merry Christmas, Enjoy New Year, Happy Easter, Good luck on Valentines, Spooky Halloween & Happy Birthday! Now bug off and don't annoy me for the next 12 months!


what happend 2 ur mobile? i was trying 2 call u but i got this msg: welcome 2 D jungle network,D monkey u r tring 2 call is on tree plz try later!

[lovelykid]

Its been a rough day.I got up this morning,put on a shirt N a button fell off.I picked up my briefcase N the handle came off.I'm afraid 2 go 2 the bathroom!


Girls are like phones. we like to be held and talked too- but if u press the wrong button u'll be disconnected!


Wife : Honey …… What are You Looking for ?
Husband : Nothing.
Wife : Nothing…?? U’ve been reading our marriage certificate 4 an hour …??
Husband : I was just looking 4 the expiry date.


Girl: When we get married, I want to share all your worries, troubles and lighten your burden.
Boy: It’s very kind of you, darling, But I don’t have any worries or troubles.
Girl: Well that is because we aren’t married yet!


Wife: I wish I was a newspaper, so I’d be in ur hands all day. Husband: I too wish that u were a newspaper, so I cud have a new one everyday!


Do U know the fullform of COLLEGE- C-Come,O-On,L-Lets, L-Love, E-Each,G-Girl,E-Equally......Thats why boys go to college regularly!


If you do NOT have a Girl Friend - You are missing SOME thing in your life.
If you HAVE a Girl Friend - You are missing EVERY thing in your life!

[lovelykid]

When u win, I will proudly tell the world: hey,that's my Friend
but when u lose , i will sit in ur side hold ,n I say: hey A'm ur friend!


4 Facts To Live Better LIFE:
Never Say Sorry To One.. Who Likes U,
Never Say Bye To one.. Who needs U,
Never Blame The One.. Who Really Trust U..
& Never ForGet The One.. Who Alwaz Remmbers U..!!


!!..LOVE..!!
L:- Love With All The Herat
o:- Overcome Probleams To Gother
v:- Value Evrething You Share
e:- Encourage Each Other


What's Love?

"Dont Ask D Person Who Loves Some1, But Ask D Person Who Have Lost Some1"
They Only Can Feel D True Love


People Meet By Chance !! Dey Spend Sweet Times 2gether. Den God Apart Them, Not 2 End The Story, But 2 C How Much Dey Need Each Other


Dey Say Its Difficult 2 WAIT 4 Sm1!
Dey Say Its Difficult 2 FORGET Sm1!
But.. D Most Difficult Thing Is 2 Decide Whether 2 WAIT Or 2 FORGET Sm1!!


People says,"Two and two makes four"
But I say,"one and one is equal to one"
How and when?when you love your and others two eyes counts to four(to see the world), and ur one heart and others one heart became one(to feel the pain)!


Its Not Your Mistake If You Can't Read The Eyes Which Cheats You But Its Really Your Mistake If You Can't Read The Eyes Which Loves U.


'CRY' Is A Love Detecter. When Sum1 Makes You Cry It Shows That How Much You Love Them And If Someone Crys For You It Shows Their Love For You


Language Of Love When The Tears Come With Reason Means U Got Some Problem, But When Tears Come Without Reason Means U R Missing SOMEONE...

[lovelykid]

Two eyes are best friends, both blink together, both laugh together, if one eye cry the another one also cry,if one eye sleep the another one also sleep, but if they saw a girl only one eye will blink.
MORAL:A GIRL can break any relation!


A Boy Was Following A Girl, Girl: Don't FolLOW Me,Becoz My Mother Iz Coming Behind U, Boy:Don't U Worry, My Father Iz FolLOWING Her !


Catch her by her waist, Bring her home, Keep your hand on her neck ,Put your lips on her lips And have a nice .....


Drink!
COCA COLA BuuRrrrrrrrrrrrr!

[lovelykid]

My love for you is a journey, starting at forever and ending at never


LOVE is the medicine for ny kind of pain but be sure.... There is no medicine in the world from the pain given by LOVE


(\_/)
(=.=)
(")(")
a sweet litttle rabbit, jus like you, cuz I love you!! kiss


Love!!!! I want to hold u close 2 me and feel our hearts beat as 1


COURT ORDER! U are accused of stealing my heart with the love that will never end NO BAIL! I love u 4ever


Love is like a golden chain that links our hearts together and if you ever break that chain youll break my heart 4ever!


Life is for living, I Live for U
Songs r for singing, I Sing for U
Love is 4 caring, I Care for U
Angels r for keeping, Can I keeep U?


Never waste an opportunity to say 'I love U' to someone u really like, coz it is not everyday u'll meet the person who has the magic to let u fall in love


Love never dies a natural death. It dies because we don't know how to replenish its source. It dies of blindness and errors and betrayals. It dies of illness and wounds; it dies of weariness, of witherings, of tarnishings.

[lovelykid]

0% i hate u,
10% so nice u,
20% so cute u,
30% so kind u,
40% so need of u,
50% found of u,
60% my deal u,
70% i want u,
80% i miss u,
90% i like
100% @};-I@};-Love@};-U@};-


1000 words I could say,
1000 wishes I could pray,
1000 miles legs could walk,
1000 sounds a mouth could talk,
1000 times i'll b true,
1000 ways 2 say i luv u!..


A Basket full of PRAYERS ,CARES 4 a nice Person like You



The moment you have in your heart this extraordinary thing called love and feel the depth, the delight, the ecstasy of it, you will discover that for you the world is transformed.

[lovelykid]

Girls are like phones. we like to be held and talked too- but if u press the wrong button u'll be disconnected!


This cat is cat a cat good cat way cat to cat keep cat a cat idiot cat buzy cat for cat 20 cat seconds cat! NOW READ IT WITHOUT SAYIN CAT!


><(((:>
I send this fish as a sign of friendship Plz take care of it & keep it in mobile & daily put ur mobile in water so that fish wont DIE


One day Raja and rani decided to send messages to each other by using Pigeon instead of mobile. The very next day pigeon reached raja without any message. He angried and called to rani.She told stupid "This was a missed call"


can you lend me 2000 $? i need it. please help me out, i know you have it, i wil return it .a sardar asks to ATM machine?


Dear user,your wife can become mother without your struggle!Just SMS 'CHILD' or call customer care at 9890****** & be a tension-free DAD!

[FARA360]

The interview with God



I dreamed I had an interview with God.



So you would like to interview me? God asked.



If you have the time? I said.



God smiled:My time is eternity.



What questions do you have in mind for me?



[/URL]



What surprises you most about humankind?



God answered...



That they get bored with childhood,



they rush to grow up, and then



long to be children again.



That they lose their health to make money...



and then lose their money to restore their health.



That by thinking anxiously about the future,



they forget the present,



such that they live in neither the present nor the future.



([ برای مشاهده لینک ، لطفا با نام کاربری خود وارد شوید یا ثبت نام کنید ])



"That they live as if they will never die,



and die as though they had never lived.







we were silent for a while.



And then I asked.



As a parent, what are some of life's lessons you want your children to learn



To learn they cannot make anyone love them.



All they can do



is let themselves be loved.



To learn that it is not good to compare themselves to others.



To learn to forgive by practicing forgiveness.



To learn that it only takes a few seconds to open profound wounds in those they love,



and it can take many years to heal them.



To learn that a rich person
is not one who has the most,but is one who needs the least



To learn that there are people who love them dearly,



but simply have not yet learned how to express or show their feelings.



To learn that two people can



look at the same thing and see it differently?








To learn that it is not enough that they



forgive one another, but they must also forgive themselves.



[URL="[ برای مشاهده لینک ، لطفا با نام کاربری خود وارد شوید یا ثبت نام کنید ]"] ([ برای مشاهده لینک ، لطفا با نام کاربری خود وارد شوید یا ثبت نام کنید ])



"Thank you for your time," I said



"Is there anything else you would like your children to know"

:40: God smiled and said,Just know that I am here... always.

[FARA360]

The Perfect Son.
A: I have the perfect son.
B: Does he smoke?
A: No, he doesn't.
B: Does he drink whiskey?
A: No, he doesn't.
B: Does he ever come home late?
A: No, he doesn't.
B: I guess you really do have the perfect son. How old is he?
A: He will be six months old next Wednesday.

Girl: You would be a good dancer except for two things.
Boy: What are the two things?
Girl: Your feet.

[lovelykid]

I love you not because of who you are, but because of who I am when I am with you.


TaLk 2 me wHen i'm boReD, kiSS me wHen i'm saD, hug me wHen i cRy, caRe 4 me wHen i diE, loVe me When i'm sTill Alive...


It’s hard to find someone whom you truly love, much less to find someone who loves you as much. When the chance comes, don't ever let go.


True love is like ghosts, which everybody talks about and few have seen.


Without humor, life sux. Without courage, life is hard. Without love, life is hopeless. Without friends like you, life is impossible!


Love Is When You Don't Want To Go To Sleep, Because Reality Is Better Than A Dream.

[lovelykid]

World is cruel,love is blind, lost in sadness,blur in mind.heart is broken,flame had died,time has passed but why is she ...still not mine!


No one is too young for love, because love doesn't come from your mind, which knows your age, but from your heart, which knows no age.


It hurts to love someone and not be loved in return, but what hurts more is to love someone, and never find the courage to let them know how you feel.


I'm scared to fall in love, scared to fall fast, because every time I fall in love... it never seems to last.


People say you only fall in love once, but when I hear your voice I fall in love all over again


The hardest thing you'll ever do is watch the one u love, love someone else.


Always draw a circle around the ones you love, never draw a heart because hearts can be broken, but circles are never ending.

[lovelykid]

we can see more Grafitti's in girls toilet , WHY ?
Because their both hands are free!


Love is a Gambling, Don't play with it,Guys get fun, Girls get blame,10 minutes of fun, 9 months of pain,Then a baby comes out without any name,Enjoy it or think it before you do it !


Common sense is common, but... the use of common sense is uncommon !!!!


Promises are like babies, easy to give ,hard to deliver!


If you need advice, text me... If you need a friend, call me... If you need me, come to me... If you need money... ........... THE SUBSCRIBER CANNOT BE REACHED!

[lovelykid]

A good friend is like a computer; me 'enter' ur life, 'save' u in my heart, 'format' ur problems, 'shift' u 2 opportunities & never 'delete' u from my memory!


Trying to forget someone you loved is like trying to remember someone you never knew


Dance like no one's watching; sing like no one's listening; love like you can't get hurt, and live like there's no tomorrow.


You showed me how it is to be loved. Now I know what really love is. 1 day we will be together forever. I can't wait to hold you in my arms again.


I feel something in my heart, it's like a little flame, every time I see you, this flame lights up, this flame is special for you, because I LOVE YOU!


FRIENDSHIP is like a tree... It is not MEASURED on how TALL it could be, but is on how DEEP the ROOTS HAVE GROWN

[lovelykid]

In this WORLD, where everything seems UNCERTAIN, only one thing is DEFINITE. You'll always be my FRIEND, beyond WORDS, beyond TIME & beyond DISTANCE!


I believe in angels, the kind that heaven sends. I'm surrounded by angels but I call them my best friends.


A memory lasts forever, and never does it die. True friends stay together and never say good bye.


I met U as a stranger, I leave U as a friend, as long as the world stands, our friendship nv ends. All friends nv split N even if they do they will meet again.


I always thought loving some1 was the greatest feeling, but I realised tat loving a friend is even better, we lose ppl we love but we never lose true friends.

[lovelykid]

A Rasti man with his Twonsman attend in 101 competition ,first Qs was:
What is the colour of your wife's underwear?
Option 1 : White
Option 2 : Grey
Option 3 : Black
Option 4 : Blue
he answered : may i use from my question opportunity?!1

[lovelykid]

Keep the smile,
Leave the tear,
Think of joy,
Forget the fear ,
Hold the laugh,
Leave the pain,
Be joyous till i sms again


U-ME=NOTHING
U+ME=JUST FIGHTING!


Calender of love
jan-rose
feb-propose
mar-gift
april-lift
may-cheating
june-dating
july-miss u
aug-kiss u
sep-romence
oct-s.ex
nov-relax
dec-next

[lovelykid]

What is meant by ABCDEFG... A Boy Can Do Everything For a Girl
And GFEDCBA means... Girl Forgets Everything Done n Catches new Boy Again


What Is The Difference In Monkey And Donkey?
Monkey Saves This Message And Donkey Delete It. Choice Yours What Will You Do?


One tourist from U.S.A. asked to sardar: Any great man born in this village???
Sardar: no sir, only small Babies!


Last night i went 2 bed without u..cold,naked,thinking of u, missing ur warmth, ur soft touch against my skin. Where were u lastnite, my lovely pyjamas!


What do you call a girl who is beautiful, intelligent, understanding,caring, never jealous and a great cook?
ANSWER : A rumor!