: What has many keys but can't open any doors?
A: A piano.
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Q: What has 6 eyes but can't see?
A: 3 blind mice.
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Q: Who earns money driving their customers away?
A: A taxi driver.
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The teacher speaking to a student said, "Saud, name two pronouns."
Saud who suddenly woke up, said, "Who, me?"
Submitted by: Abu Jouri
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Teacher: Today, we're going to talk about the tenses. Now, if I say "I am beautiful," which tense is it?
Student: Obviously it is the past tense.
Submitted by: Abu Jouri
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Q: What is orange and sounds like parrot?
A: A carrot
Submitted by: Mariana Gغmez
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Q: Can a kangaroo jump higher than the Empire State Building?
A: Yes, because the Empire State Building can't jump!
Submitted by: Submitted by: Ana Carriءo, Portugal
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This is a riddle. It works well if you let the students ask yes and no questions about the situation, before revealing the answer.
Q: A man goes into a bar and asks for a glass of water. The barman pulls out a gun, and points it at the customer. "Thank you" replies the customer and walks out. What happened?
A: The customer had hiccups.
I've used this in many countries in Eastern Europe. It always works - a shock as a hiccup cure appears to be an international thing.
Submitted by: Jenny Mitchell
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Q: What do you call a deer with no eyes?
A: No idea.(No-eye deer)
Submitted by: Pablo Ortega Ju·rez
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ESL teacher: You must never begin a sentence "I is ...".
Clever student: Please sir, what's wrong with "I is a vowel".
